The Four Stages Of Life...

Life is a bitch. Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are.

STAGE ONE: MIMICRY

We are born helpless. We can’t walk, can’t talk, can’t feed ourselves, can’t even do our own damn taxes.

As children, the way we’re wired to learn is by watching and mimicking others. First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society.

The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults. The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves.

But some adults and community members around us suck. They punish us for our independence. They don’t support our decisions. And therefore we don’t develop autonomy. We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged.

In a “normal” healthy individual, Stage One will last until late adolescence and early adulthood. For some people, it may last further into adulthood. A select few wake up one day at age 45 realizing they’ve never actually lived for themselves and wonder where the hell the years went.

This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values.

We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary. We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves.

STAGE TWO: SELF-DISCOVERY

In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique.

Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. We experiment with living in new places, hanging out with new people, imbibing new substances, and playing with new people’s orifices.

In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. My brother’s Stage Two was diving headfirst into the political system in Washington DC. Everyone’s Stage Two is slightly different because every one of us is slightly different.

Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. Some of them don’t. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.

Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. This doesn’t sit well with many people. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing.

You’re just going to be bad at some things, no matter how hard you try. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. I’m also about as capable of feeding myself as an infant drooling applesauce all over the floor. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better.

So we’re just bad at some things. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.

Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and you should therefore spend it on things that matter most. That means realizing that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it. That means realizing that just because you like certain people doesn’t mean you should be with them. That means realizing that there are opportunity costs to everything and that you can’t have it all.

There are some people who never allow themselves to feel limitations — either because they refuse to admit their failures, or because they delude themselves into believing that their limitations don’t exist. These people get stuck in Stage Two.

These are the “serial entrepreneurs” who are 38 and living with mom and still haven’t made any money after 15 years of trying. These are the “aspiring actors” who are still waiting tables and haven’t done an audition in two years. These are the people who can’t settle into a long-term relationship because they always have a gnawing feeling that there’s someone better around the corner. These are the people who brush all of their failings aside as “releasing” negativity into the universe or “purging” their baggage from their lives.

At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.

But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.

In healthy individuals, Stage Two begins in mid- to late-adolescence and lasts into a person’s mid-20s to mid-30s. People who stay in Stage Two beyond that are popularly referred to as those with “Peter Pan Syndrome” — the eternal adolescents, always discovering themselves, but finding nothing.

STAGE THREE: COMMITMENT

Once you’ve pushed your own boundaries and either found your limitations (i.e., athletics, the culinary arts) or found the diminishing returns of certain activities (i.e., partying, video games, masturbation) then you are left with what’s both a) actually important to you, and b) what you’re not terrible at. Now it’s time to make your dent in the world.

Stage Three is the great consolidation of one’s life. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon.

Then you double down on what you’re best at and what is best to you. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. You double down on a single mission in life, whether that’s to work on the world’s energy crisis or to be a bitching digital artist or to become an expert in brains or have a bunch of snotty, drooling children. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done.

Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. It’s all about building your legacy. What will you leave behind when you’re gone? What will people remember you by? Whether that’s a breakthrough study or an amazing new product or an adoring family, Stage Three is about leaving the world a little bit different than the way you found it.

Stage Three ends when a combination of two things happen: 1) you feel as though there’s not much else you are able to accomplish, and 2) you get old and tired and find that you would rather sip martinis and do crossword puzzles all day.

In “normal” individuals, Stage Three generally lasts from around 30-ish-years-old until one reaches retirement age.

People who get lodged in Stage Three often do so because they don’t know how to let go of their ambition and constant desire for more. This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.

STAGE FOUR: LEGACY

People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. They did great things, worked hard, earned everything they have, maybe started a family or a charity or a political or cultural revolution or two, and now they’re done. They’ve reached the age where their energy and circumstances no longer allow them to pursue their purpose any further.

The goal of Stage Four then becomes not to create a legacy as much as simply making sure that legacy lasts beyond one’s death.

This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their (now grown) children and living vicariously through them. It could mean passing on their projects and work to a protégé or apprentice. It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize.

Stage Four is important psychologically because it makes the ever-growing reality of one’s own mortality more bearable. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.6 To lose that meaning, or to watch it slip away, or to slowly feel as though the world has left you behind, is to stare oblivion in the face and let it consume you willingly.

WHAT’S THE POINT?

Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being.7

In Stage One, a person is wholly dependent on other people’s actions and approval to be happy. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable.

In Stage Two, one becomes reliant on oneself, but they’re still reliant on external success to be happy — making money, accolades, victory, conquests, etc. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run.

Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two. These are more reliable. And finally, Stage Four requires we only hold on to what we’ve already accomplished as long as possible.

At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world.

INTER-STAGE CONFLICT

Later stages don’t replace previous stages. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval. They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. They just care more about the commitments they’ve made.

Each stage represents a reshuffling of one’s life priorities. It’s for this reason that when one transitions from one stage to another, one will often experience a fallout in one’s friendships and relationships. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.

Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things. People at Stage Three will judge others based on their commitments and what they’re able to achieve. People at Stage Four judge others based on what they stand for and what they’ve chosen to live for.

HOW TO SURVIVE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

Long distance relationships are the worst. “Is he/she worth waiting for? Are they feeling the same way I do?” “Am I kidding myself thinking this can work?” “Would I be better off dating the mailman instead? At least he comes to my house every day.” “Does my girlfriend even exist or is this just a Nigerian guy conducting an elaborate credit card scam?”

I get it. I’ve been there. Long distance relationships suck. There’s no way around it. In all of my years I’ve never met someone who has said, “Yeah, my boyfriend lives in Finland, it’s great!” On the contrary, everyone I’ve met in a long distance relationship can relate to the slow agonizing feeling that takes place over months or even years — that feeling that your heart is slowly being carved out by a butter knife and replaced with Skype calls and open chat windows.

As a young man who was terrified of any sort of commitment whatsoever, I found that I could only allow myself to fall for a girl if she was at least 500 miles away.

All three of my significant relationships have involved long distance in some way. The first one, we both genuinely tried to make it work, but things fell apart spectacularly. The second one we both agreed that our lives were taking us to different parts of the world and we were probably better off letting it go. The third, we immediately made plans to end the distance as soon as possible and then did.

So I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve seen both sides of the long distance relationship coin. I’ve seen them implode and I’ve seen them fizzle out. I’ve seen them be worth the pain and loneliness and also reach the moment of needing to let go.

When it comes to surviving the distance, here’s what I’ve learned is most important:

1. ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO TOGETHER

What kills long distance relationships is the constant underlying uncertainty to everything. “Is this all worth it?” “Does she still feel the same way about me as she did before?” “Is he secretly meeting other girls without me knowing?” “Am I kidding myself with all of this? Maybe we’re horrible for each other and I don’t know it.”

The longer you two are apart, the more these uncertainties will fester and grow into legitimate existential crises.

That’s why when making any long distance relationship work it’s necessary to always have some date that you are both waiting for. Usually, this will be the next time you are both able to see each other. But it can be other major life moments as well — applying for jobs in the other person’s city, looking at apartments together, a vacation together, and so on.

The minute you stop having some milestone to look forward to together, you’ll be stuck in emotional limbo. One thing that is true about all relationships is that if they’re not growing, then they’re dying. And this is more important than ever in long distance relationships. You must be evolving towards something. You must both have a converging trajectory on some point on the horizon. Otherwise you will inevitably drift apart.

2. BE SLOW TO JUDGE

A funny thing happens to humans psychologically when we’re separated from one another. We’re not able to see each other as we truly are. When we’re apart from one another or have limited exposure to a person or event, we start to make all sorts of assumptions or judgments that are usually exaggerated or untrue.

This can manifest itself in various ways within a long distance relationship. In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner because they perceive every casual social outing without them as potentially threatening to their relationship. They become paranoid, asking who the fuck is Dan, tell me who the fuck this Dan guy is, and why is he writing on your Facebook wall — oh, he’s your stepbrother? I didn’t know you had a stepbrother. Why didn’t you tell me you had a stepbrother, are you hiding something from me? OK, maybe I wasn’t listening when you told me, but I still don’t want you hanging out with Dan, got it?

Hyper-sensitive Jealous Boyfriend screams: “No! You will not enjoy your life without me.”

Other people become extremely critical and neurotic that every small thing that goes wrong is an end to the relationship. Like if the power goes out and their partner misses their nightly Skype call, they sit there thinking to themselves that this is it, the relationship’s over, he finally forgot about me.

Other people go the other direction and start idealizing their partner as being perfect in a bunch of ways that they’re actually not. After all, if your partner isn’t in front of you all day every day, it’s easy to forget all of the little obnoxious parts of their personality and just imagine how perfect they must be.

All of these irrational fantasies are unhelpful. And when stuck in a long distance scenario, it’s important to distrust many of your own judgments and inclinations to a certain degree. Remind yourself that you really don’t know what’s going on and the best thing you can do at any moment is simply ask your partner.

3. MAKE COMMUNICATION OPTIONAL

A lot of long distance couples create rules or expectations that they should have X number of calls or that they need to talk every night at a certain time. You can even find some articles online recommending this sort of behavior.

It may work for some people, but I’ve always found that communication should happen organically and unconditionally. You talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to. And if that means going 1-2 days without communicating, then so be it. People get busy, after all. And periodically having a few days to yourself is actually pretty healthy, I’d say.

It’s OK, sometimes Mr. Suspenders just wants to play Candy Crush. Let him.

When you force communication, two things can happen. The first is that when you inevitably hit days that you don’t have much to talk about (or don’t feel like talking), you’ll half ass it and fill your communication with a bunch of filler. Great, now you’re half-assing your relationship and spending time with your partner not because you want to but because you feel obligated. Welcome to every shitty marriage ever.

This half-assed communication often creates more problems than it solves. Like, if your partner seems more interested in his tax returns than catching up with you, chances are you should just hang up and try again in a couple days. There is such a thing as overexposure.

The second problem that can happen from forcing communication is that one or both people can begin to resent feeling obligated to the other person all of the time. This resentment then sparks stupid fights which almost always devolve into some form of, “I’m sacrificing more than you are!” “No, I’m sacrificing more than you are!”

These arguments never lead to anywhere useful.

The best way to go is to make all communication optional. Both of you can opt out at any time. The trick is to not take these opt outs personally when they happen. Understand that your partner is a fully individual human being outside of their relationship with you, and that to be happy they often need to attend to other things.

Doing this requires something called “trust.” It’s a novel concept. But you should try it out sometime.

4. MAKE SURE THE DISTANCE IS TEMPORARY

A long distance relationship cannot survive without hope. And for there to be hope, there must be some possibility that you two will one day be together and achieve your Happily Ever After.

Without that shared vision of Happily Ever After, everything else will quickly begin to feel meaningless.

Remember, love is not enough. You both need to have life visions that are aligned, shared values and mutual interests. If she’s taking a 10-year contract working for the Singaporean government, and he makes a career dogsledding around the polar ice caps, well, then there’s not much hope for that relationship, no matter how much they may love each other.

Not only must there be some shared vision of a possible future for you together, but you both must also feel as though you’re working toward that vision. If he’s in Los Angeles and you’re in New York, nothing will kill the relationship faster than applying for jobs in London and Hong Kong.

In my second relationship, my girlfriend took a job working in Africa. Meanwhile, I toiled away in the US with no money trying to get my first internet business off the ground. All hope for making it work was removed from the equation and we soon broke up.

My current girlfriend is Brazilian. We began dating while I was living there in 2012. I left after a few months and we kept in touch. Both of us were battle-worn veterans of failed long distance relationships, and one of our first conversations was that if we didn’t feel that there was a possibility of us living in the same city again within a year, then there was no point in keeping in touch.

Obviously, this wasn’t an easy conversation to have. But we had it because we both knew it was necessary if we were going to continue.

Six months later, I made the commitment to move back down to Brazil and stay there with her until we could figure other plans out.

Long distance relationships can only work if both partners put their money where their genitals are. OK, that sounded weird, but what I mean, is that you have to make the logistical, life-rearranging commitment to one another for them to have any chance of working. Paradoxically, you end up with this weird dynamic where long distance relationships force you to make much more significant commitments to a person who you’ve had far less exposure to. It’s like buying a car when you’ve only seen one picture of it.

Is it worth it? This is the question I get most often from readers. On one level, yes, it’s always worth it. Because even if the relationship goes down like a Malaysian Airlines flight, you will have learned a lot about yourself, about intimacy, and about commitment in the process.

On another level, it’s hard to tell. Because when you’re stuck in a long distance relationship, you don’t really know what it’s like to date the other person. You only have this halfway, vague idea of what it’s like.

Sure, you know their personality and their attractive qualities. But you don’t know the reality. You don’t know each other’s ticks. How she avoids eye contact when she’s sad. The way he leaves a mess in the bathroom and then denies making it. How she’s always late to important events. The way he makes excuses for his mother’s unacceptable behavior. Her tendency to talk through movies. His tendency to get easily offended at comments about his appearance. And so on.

You don’t get a sense for the actual relationship until you’re there, in person, and in each other’s faces non-stop, whether you want to be or not. This is where true intimacy exists. In the constricted personal space between two people who have spent way, way, way too much time around each other. This intimacy is sometimes dispassionate. It’s sometimes obnoxious. It’s sometimes unpleasant. But it’s capital-R Real. And it’s what determines if a relationship will last or not.

Distance prevents this constricted intimacy from ever forming in a meaningful way. When we’re apart it’s too easy to idealize and romanticize each other. It’s too easy to overlook the mundane, yet important differences. It’s too easy to get caught up in the drama of our minds instead of the calm and boring truths of our hearts.

Can it work? Yes, it can. Does it work? Usually, no. But then again, that’s true for the vast majority of relationships. And it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever at least try.

Bose- The Unforgettable Hero...

History has a strange curse planned for those who come to read it. If you examine it in terms of its relevance and authenticity, there are chances you come across certain dead ends. They narrow our interest in believing facts and at the same time, open up vast unanswered area pertaining to the nature of events that shape up that thing called History.  A long, endlessly debated, read and critiqued subject is that of India’s independence and the brave luminous lives that took it upon themselves- the cause of India’s uprising.

We are no stranger to the grandeur associated with the name of the Father of the nation Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi. Nor are we shy of expressing our irreducible  love for Jawahar Lal Nehru. We deeply regard the brilliance associated with Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel. Over the years, there was been great interest in reexamining the lives of Azad, Bhagat Singh and the likes of Rashbehari Bose. But, one pure, unhinging look or daze at the name of another gentleman associated with our freedom struggle Subhas Chandra Bose, leaves us bewildered and in awe at the same time. Wouldn’t you agree?

Here was a man, who in his absolute authority was pious to the chore of being a phonetic for his devotion to bring India its long awaited independence. He was a legend whose stories will remain alive for time immemorial concerning the mass mobilization, courage, daredevilry and passion with which he dedicated his 48 years of life towards India’s independence struggle .

If you are a non Indian, a foreign national, then the legendary Bose was, rather is and, shall perpetually remain a lasting symbol of rebellion concerned with fighting for India’s freedom struggle. If you are an academician, then Bose is a patriot of sound intellectual might steaming with a depth for reasoning, a person who both argued and awed Indians for his condemnation of the colonial forces that came to threaten motherland called India and from whose clutches he wanted to rescue his motherland, come what may.

But, if you are an Indian, who gets teary eyed at the mere sound of a freedom song and one who has been a mock witness to the times where the tag of greatness is reserved alone for Gandhi Ji and Pandit Nehru, often weighing down revolutionary means and the need for those in front of values like peace and harmony, then Bose is your redemption, rather vindication of an argument being loosely based around running down radical or revolutionary measures of finding justice. Bose is that ticket to win a losing discussion in those ballrooms and gateways where freedom struggle comes forever to be associated with non violent values, an aspect pious and pure, but one whose prominence discounts the importance associated with sweat, blood and ultimately, sacrifice.

The man India hails as Netaji, was in the real sense of the word a patriot as rare as any and a martyr who since his fictional and Wikipedia confirming death on 18th January 1945, has been alive and living well, amidst our hearts and minds for his relentless fight for India’s freedom struggle. Born in Cuttack on January 23, 1897 and alive for his passion and exceptional devotion to fetch India its dearly awaited glory, a facet we all identify as freedom, Subhas Babu is the avante garde intellectual who furthered his might through a revolutionary surge to garner means to rescue India from the clutches of the evil British forces.

Bose and the Indian National Congress party

Subhas Chandra Bose was a bright student who grew up in an era of heat and intense upheaval following the captivity of the country by the British who were unforgiving in their surge to conquer and rule the country for a good new civilization. Together with the icon of peace: Mahatma Gandhi and the ideological thinker: Jawahar Lal Nehru, Subhas Bose rose on to become the most prominent face associated with India’s largest and most indomitable think tank that worked tirelessly in its fight against the British: Indian National Congress.

Twice elected as the President of the INC, Netaji would go onto become a solo hero for his advocacy, reliance and support of radical and revolutionary means as the tool to win India independence. While Gandhi would soon distance himself away from India’s prodigious son in the freedom struggle, Nehru soon took the same road as that of the mahatma.

Not the one to bow down for lack of support from fellow workers and leaders alike for his radical ideas, Netaji was to soon carve a road of his own: whose ultimate journey was to become one with the voice of the high tide: the fight for India’s freedom struggle.

Jailed for mass civil disobedience

Subhas Chandra Bose in 1941 organized a mass civil disobedience against that of Viceroy Lord Linlithgow’s independent declaration of war from India’s stable against the British, an immediate, rather perfunctory seeming action the Viceroy took without the consent of the congress leaders. While Bose disagreed to the idea for its apparent immaturity, Gandhi took strong aversion to Bose’s resistance. While the Mahatma never personally condemned Bose for organizing the “Black hole of Kolkata”, the British soon jailed Netaji for a week. Soon after a spate of unrelenting hunger strike, Netaji was released, only to be pried heavily by the CID at his home in Kolkata.

By the beginning of 1942, much before we eventually won our independence, there was a widening in the gap of the ideological differences between Gandhi’s peaceful means to fight the British and Bose’s revolutionary approach at tackling the demonic and unrelenting enemy.

While Netaji never actually received real support or encouragement from any contemporary fighting alongside in India’s struggle, his impassioned voice of resistance against the British won his legions of fans and die hard supporters, who ventured on the trajectory of Bose’s path of retribution whose ultimate aim was to rescue India from its torrid captors.

Escape to Germany and Soviet Russia via Afghanistan

It was exactly on the midnight of January 19, 1941 that a Pathan sporting a full grown beard was seen silently walking in the streets of present day Kolkata toward a path unknown. That was Bose in an attire he had guised to evade his own capture at the hands of the merciless British. He would be driven away from the city by his nephew Sisir Bose in a vintage car that can be found decked up for public view to this day in the Netaji conservatory at his hometown in Calcutta.

It is quite staggering to note that in his fascist approach to help India get useful and priceless support from foreign hands like the Soviet Russia, Japan and Germany, all of who were exactly the epitome of evil as seen by the eyes of the world and the Mahatma for their Axis powered dominance in south East Asia and elsewhere, Netaji made friends fearlessly with the evil powers n his bid to mobilize support for India’s cause.

He walked most part of the Afghan border on foot, as he made his way towards Soviet Russia. Once in Germany, he met with the Fuhrer, the ultimate symbol of evil who offered unexpected and rather ambivalent support towards India’s independence cause. One wonders whether the Nazi party chief’s Aryan lineage and inkling had anything to do with this. Subhas Bose who went on to live in Austria and Germany from 1941-43 where he took control of the Azad Hind Fauj, would eventually escape Germany under the tutelage of Hitler himself when he was moved from Germany to Madagascar in a German U-boat and upon reaching Madagascar, came to be helped by Japan.

1943 and beyond

Widely regarded in Axis countries where he sought refuge, Netaji effectively enticed these countries in their anti- British agenda igniting them with his valor, intellectual tapestry and patriotic exuberance. Netaji found more support from Singapore where he would often sail and mobilize and meet with new inductions into the Indian National Army. It is said that on 18th August 1945, just days India’s independence, he succumbed to fatal injuries sustained in a horrific air crash, just as his plane was about to reach its destination in Russia, flying from Japan as it crashed midway in the skies of Tokyo.

Highly controversial claims pointing to his death in the air crash have been challenged by the Mukherjee Commission. The truth associated with his surprising disappearance point in a direction of political conspiracy. 31 files related to his disappearance have been declassified by India government for reasons best known to them.

Netaji’s legacy

A martyr in the strands of history and a hero whose legend refuses to diminish under the debris of time, we see growing vocal fights between fans who love him to death and critics who support the ascendancy of peace over revolution.

Netaji is part cult, part legend and pure ecstatic genius for his bravery, wisdom and impenetrable efforts that enabled India win its freedom.

Shrouded in secrecy for his sudden vanishing, a thing is certain: The legend of the great patriot will not suffice the growing appetite of intellectuals who label his struggle as the better and appropriate means of fighting British vis-a-vis Gandhi’s methods of peace.

Bhagat Singh- The Real Hero

“ Dil se niklegi na mar kar bhi watan ki ulfat, meri mitti se bhi khushboo-e-watan aayegi”(Even after my death my love for my motherland will not diminish from my heart. Even my ashes will smell of your (motherland’s) greatness and love)–last words said by Sahid Bhagat Singh –

Shaheed-e-Azam Bhagat Singh was a revolutionary and martyr, born on 28 September (saterday)1907 (late night of 27 sep at 12.05 pm) at the village of Banga, Lyallpur district (now in Pakistan). father kishan singh and mother vidyawati belonged to a patrotic sikh family. “Bhagat” means “devotee” his nickname was “Bhaganwala”(lucky one) ‘ according to “Buried Alive” (autobiography of uncle Arjun Singh)

 Bhagat didn’t attend the Khalsa High School in Lahore, because his grandfather didn’t approve of the school officials’ loyalism to the British authorities. his grandfather, enrolled him in the Dayanand Anglo Vedic High School, an Arya Samaji institution.

In 1919, at the age of 12, Bhagat  visited the site of the jallian wala bagh, where non-violent people gathered at a public meeting were fired upon without warning, killing hundreds and wounding thousands. Bhagat Singh participated ardently in mahatma Gandhi’s Non-cooperation Movement  in 1920, In 1922 he joined the Young Revolutionary Movement. Henceforth, he began advocating the violent overthrow of the British in India, After chauri-chaura kand.

In 1923  He joined the Indian nationalist youth organisation Naujawan Bharat Sabha (Hindi: “Youth Society of India”) along with his fellow revolutionaries, and became popular in the organisation. He also joined the HRA (Hindustan Republic Assocition) which had prominent leaders, such asRam Prashad Bismil, Chandrashekhar Azad, & Ashfaqulla Khan. The name of the organisation was changed to (HSRA) Hindustan Socialist Republician Association) at Singh’s insistence

In 1924,his parents planned to have him married. He vehemently rejected the suggestion and said that, if his marriage was to take place in Slave-India-“my bride shall be only death.” Rather than allow his father to proceed any further with the proposal, Bhagat Singh left home and went to Kanpur.

Singh was arrested for his alleged involvement in this Dussehra bomb case on 29 May 1927,but was released for exhibiting good behaviour against a steep fine of Rs. 60,000,

A rare historical photograph of students and staff of National College, Lahore, which was started by Lala lajpat Rai. Bhagat Singh can be seen standing fourth from the right.

Lala lajpat Rai died on 17 November 1928, Bhagat became so sad of this and he want to take revenge of this. The British government decided to implement the Defence of India act 1915, which gave the police a free hand. Singh proposed to the HSRA his plan to explode a bomb inside the Central legislative Assembly, He entrusted Dutt to plant the bomb. On 8 April 1929, Singh and Dutt threw two bombs inside the assembly rushing from Visitor’s Gallery. The smoke from the bomb filled the Hall and they shouted slogans of “Inquilab Zindabad!” ( “Long Live the Revolution!”) and showered leaflets. The leaflet claimed that the act was done to oppose the Trade Disputes and the Public Safety Bill being presented in the Central Assembly and the death of Lala Lajapath Rai. Few sustained injuries in the explosion but there were no deaths; Singh and Dutt claimed that the act was intentional. Singh and Dutt were arrested, as planned.

As the trial proceeded, a statement, written in its entirety by Bhagat Singh, was read in defence of the two accused. Bhagat Singh said that “force used for a legitimate cause has its moral justification.” He and B.K. Dutt were found guilty and sentenced to transportation for life. After the sentence had been pronounced in the Assembly Bomb case, Bhagat Singh was bound over for trial in the Saunders Murder case, approvers having identified his role in the killing. While awaiting trial in the Lahore Jail, Bhagat Singh started a hunger strike in behalf of political prisoners. The fast was continued even after the hearing of the case began on 10 July 1929, and was subsequently joined by many others. It was not until after the death of one of these, J.N. Das, on 13 September 1929, that facilities were promised to the prisoners and the hunger-strike abandoned. as detailed in their letter to the Home Member on 24 June 1929.

Jinnah made a powerful speech in the Assembly supporting Singh, and sympathised with the prisoners on hunger strike. He declared on the floor of the Assembly:

“The man who goes on hunger strike has a soul. He is moved by that soul, and he believes in the justice of his cause … however much you deplore them and however much you say they are misguided, it is the system, this damnable system of governance, which is resented by the people.”

Jawaharlal Nehru  met Singh and the other strikers in Mianwali jail. After the meeting, he stated:

“I was very much pained to see the distress of the heroes. They have staked their lives in this struggle. They want that political prisoners should be treated as political prisoners. I am quite hopeful that their sacrifice would be crowned with success.” “

Jatin Das of the Conspiracy Case, who was on hunger strike, died this afternoon at 1 pm Last night, five of the hunger strikers gave up their hunger strike. So there are only Bhagat Singh and Dutt who are on strike .

Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were sentenced to death in the Lahore conspiracy case and ordered to be hanged on 24 March 1931.On 17 March 1931, Singh was informed that his execution had been advanced by 11 hours on 23 March 1931, just a few hours before his execution.

Bhagat Singh was hanged on 23 March 1931 at 7:30 pm in Lohare  jail with his fellow comrades Rajguru and Sukhdev. It is reported that no magistrate of the time was willing to supervise his hanging.The jail authorities  broke the rear wall of the jail and secretly cremated the three martyrs under cover of darkness outside  Ganda Singh Wala  village, and then threw the ashes into the Sutluj river,about 10 km from Ferozepur .  next day, however, his comrades collected the bodily remains from the cremation site and a procession was taken out in Lahore. Mourning for him was spontaneous and widespread and homage was paid to him for his sterling character and sacrifice.

“Sahido ke Mazaro pe lagenge har barsh mele, vatan pe marne walo ka yehi baki nishan hoga”

The execution of Singh, Rajguru and Sukhdev were reported widely by the press, especially as they were on the eve of the annual convention of the congress party  at Karachi. Mahatma Gandhi faced black flag demonstrations by angry youth who shouted “Down with Gandhi”, the youth think Gandhi ji didn’t support Bhagat & rajguru.

In the 29 March 1931 issue of Young India, Gandhi wrote:

“Bhagat Singh and his two associates have been hanged. The Congress made many attempts to save their lives and the Government entertained many hopes of it, but all has been in a vain.

Bhagat Singh did not wish to live. He refused to apologize, or even file an appeal. Bhagat Singh was not a devotee of non-violence, but he did not subscribe to the religion of violence. He took to violence due to helplessness and to defend his homeland. In his last letter, Bhagat Singh wrote, ” I have been arrested while waging a war. For me there can be no gallows. Put me into the mouth of a cannon and blow me off.” These heroes had conquered the fear of death. Let us bow to them a thousand times for their heroism.

But we should not imitate their act. In our land of millions of destitute and crippled people, if we take to the practice of seeking justice through murder, there will be a terrifying situation. Our poor people will become victims of our atrocities. By making a dharma of violence, we shall be reaping the fruit of our own actions.

Hence, though we praise the courage of these brave men, we should never countenance their activities. Our dharma is to swallow our anger, abide by the discipline of non-violence and carry out our duty.”

Jai Hind

Note – story & images taken by goggle,  Wikipedia and “Buried Alive” (autobiography of uncle Arjun Singh)